He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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