So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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