Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
