I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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