The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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