she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
