remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize