O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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