I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
