Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
