Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
