Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize