I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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