How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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