Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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