she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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