I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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