It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize