woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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