Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
