Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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