I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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