We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
40s are totally the cure
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
