"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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