We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize