My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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