I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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