you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
