I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
