do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
