If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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