Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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