you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
