So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
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There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So squirting runs in the family.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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