there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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