I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
