Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
