Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
