it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
