yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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