Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
