Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
