We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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