Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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