Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize