I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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