I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
