i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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