I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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