**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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