so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Couch. On fire.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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