At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
