All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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